30+ Anonymously Shared Secrets That People Wouldn’t Dare to Confess in Real Life

This article appeared in ballercap.com and has been published here with permission.

Let’s admit it, we all have secrets. Even the most innocent among us have had a moment of shame or rule-breaking that they don’t want anyone to know about. In fact, seemingly angelic people usually have the juiciest tales of them all! Well, this Twitter thread is a safe space for internet users to tell their secrets — and we’re sharing them with the world!

An Exception to the Rule

99.9% of the time, kidnapping is a bad thing. However, there are exceptions to every rule. In this particular case, catnapping (get it?) was the right thing to do. We’re not condoning illegal behavior per se... but we’re also not, not condoning the OP’s actions. Truthfully, this whole mess could’ve been avoided if the neighbors had followed the golden rule of getting a pet — if you’re not going to take care of it, get a Tamagotchi instead.

Petty Revenge

This article appeared in ballercap.com and has been published here with permission.

This is some seriously petty revenge, and we agree that it should be kept a secret. Of course, we only know the information that’s provided here, but assuming that this guy didn’t do anything horrendous during the breakup, the OP is the villain of the story. What ever happened to people having the right to end a relationship? He’s supposed to be punished for not wanting to be with her?! Keep this secret forever, OP, because it’ll be tough to score a second date with anyone who knows this silliness.

A Solid Plan

We think the OP is onto something here. In fact, we may even start to adopt this practice for ourselves. In the best-case scenario, we’ll be spared during the inevitable AI takeover. In the worst-case scenario, we’ll brush up on our basic manners. Either way, we’ve seen enough horror movies about technology to know that it’s always best to be on our smart devices’ good sides, and maybe even throw a few compliments their way — just in case.

The Judge

It’s pretty clear that, in this relationship, the family dog is the jury, judge, and executioner. Why else would everyone be so obsessed with getting it on their side? This poor pup probably just wants to go for a walk, not be involved in marital drama! In all seriousness, though, it’s probably best for both the OP and his wife to stop this practice. We get that it can seem harmless and funny, but trash-talking your partner isn’t a good habit to get into.